Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Progresive Voters Shocked to Find Obama is Really Bill Clinton in Black Face

Washington--A full year after the historic election of America's first African American President, many former supporters have made a shocking discovery, that Barrack Obama is in fact William Jefferson Clinton in black face. The strangely late discovery has left many progressives devastated. David Millman, an Austin, Texas based artist has been left curling up in a fetal position most nights, cursing the cruel God that birthed him. "I should have known from the beginning" he said mournfully from his rusted up VW bus. "I had some suspicions when I saw that Joker poster of Obama, but I just assumed the resemblance to Clinton was coincidental...then I heard he wanted a spending freeze and when I looked at the picture it hit me, he's fucking Bill Clinton in black face! Bill who ended welfare as we knew it and forced me to work at K-mart to support myself. I helped that devil get elected president again".

Anessa Finkelstein, an 20 year old college student who was a first time voter in 2008 is similarly devastated. "I spent all this time campaigning for what I thought was an awesome Black Muslim who would legalize gay marriage and pot, end war and enact single payer health insurance. I used to taunt all my pro-Hilary friends about how they were voting for a greedy power hungry bitch who was part of the evil establishment, while Obama was like a superhero out to save the whales. God do I feel stupid. I will never vote again. For all I care Sarah Palin can be president and do whatever she wants to do, it can't be worse than four more years under the Clintons."

The recent discovery has produced major outbursts in the blogosphere and on MSNBC, but it has also sadly cost the life of one former Obama supporter. Early yesterday the Obamagirl who campaigned for Obama on Youtube was found dead from self inflicted knife wounds. She is reputed to have written "I'm no Fucking Monica" in her own blood before expiring.

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